Kabbalah to the Rescue

The only thing I knew about Kabbalah was that Madonna practiced it, which meant zero to me since I’m not a big fan.  But, one day, I was listening to Hay House radio.  I think it was Sonia Choquette’s show, Trust Your Vibes (now there’s clue!).  Anyway, whoever the guest was referenced a book written by a noted kabbalistic scholar, Yehuda Berg.

The book?  The Spiritual Rules of Engagement:  How Kabbalah Can Help Your Soul Mate Find You.  I put down that Sudoku puzzle and tuned in fully.  I bought the book and ignored the dedication to Ashton and Demi.  The point was that it’s the woman who holds the power in a relationship; the power inherent in being a woman is what drives the entire process.

There were two vital kabbalistic principles:  1) Like attracts like and opposites repel and
2) A woman holds the key to a  soulful and loving relationship.

Dr. Berg explains the seven rules with absolute clarity:

1.  Men are channels for the Light, while Women are vessels for the Light.
2.  A man cannot be the source of a woman’s happiness.
3.  The woman must defend her Light and never give it away freely.
4.  Never believe what a man says (look at his actions instead).
5.  The woman must choose a man she can support (his beliefs, someone you don’t wish to change).
6.  Attraction is based on karma...people you have known in past lives.
7.  Fear of rejection is an illusion.  The Light always loves you, meaning that fear of rejection is based on an illusion as is fear of abandonment.

“The spiritual work of a woman is to recognize and to cultivate a steadfast relationship with the Light inside of her, and not to look for energy outside of herself."

The Kabbalah stuff definitely resonated with me.  As I was internalizing this, the date for his son’s wedding was nearing, and his travel/sex partner from Kentucky was landing in a few days.  We went to a Natural Living conference and then walked in a park.

I questioned his commitment; he was reassuring.  He needed more intellectual stimulation, a theme he often repeated.  I hadn’t traveled all over the world like he had.  On the one hand, he declared me the most self-actualized woman he had ever known and, then, would claim I was a light weight, intellectually.

Really??  And, what were his contributions to intelligentsia?  Oh, that’s right, he taught me about polyamory.  I definitely needed that to expand my base of knowledge.

The tech guru needed me to program his iPhone.  He had no clue.  He wanted his second email account on it.  I needed his password.  No problem.

Monday.  He was off for Columbus Day.  I had plans to play bridge.  I get an email from him while I was playing.  I won’t bore you with the mundane, only the juice.


Hi Honey
Nature hike was fun.  (A cute older lady came up after the hike and gave me her phone number!  Supply and Demand I think.)
Am having awkward thoughts about Millie (Kentucky woman).  She will probably find out about Kerry (his daughter) getting married at Ken’s (his son) wedding.
I know you believe in absolutes and everyone you date should know everything but she is a casual relationship.  I think it is OK to have a lesser standard...I concur with a higher standard for us where you can know whatever you want.
I love you.  Yesterday was fun.
xoxo John

I swear I almost left the bridge table to wring his neck.  He’s worried about the Kentucky woman finding out about me?????  Damn right, she should know about me.  Casual???  He’s been traveling with her for three years!  Lesser standard of honesty???  What the hell?!  A cute older lady gave him her phone number??

I finish my game and called his cell.  I ask him about why he was worried about Millie finding out about me....seemed really odd to me.  (Now, there’s an understatement for our time.)  He tells me he can’t talk right then; he’ll call me later.  Of course, he’s with someone else.....obviously, not a male friend.

Every Monday at 6:30 p.m., I meet Jim for dinner and then we play in a bridge game.  I’ve known him for a few years.  Actually met him through John.  I’ve always thought the world of him but we’ve never shared much on a deeper level.  I sit down to my slice of pizza and the phone rings.  It’s John.  I ignore it.  I tell Jim about the email.

He looks at me for a long time then asks, “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”

“Of course not.”

“What are you doing?”

Good God, what the hell am I doing?  And that was it.  I was done.  It was over....but then I went a little berserk.