What Happened to Paradise?

I know it's crazy.  I'm hearing voices and listening??!!  Yep, it's Edith.  Of course, I had no idea who Edith was.  But, I heard, "Just love him" plain as day.

And the dance continued.  We played bridge civilly...no arguments or put downs.  There was the occasional movie...the occasional walk..the occasional dinner.  No plan or schedule except for playing social bridge on Thursday nights.  He came for diner and stayed after bridge...usually leaving early on Friday.

What we did best was travel together.  Always to bridge tournaments all over the country...Atlanta, Charleston, Sacramento, Orlando, Boston, Hilton Head Island.  We would spend five days together planning sightseeing trips, daily workouts, midnight whirlpool excursions, playing lots of bridge, laughing easily.

I never asked him about what he was really doing when he wasn't with me.  He rarely brought it up.  I knew he loved me.  But, I also strongly felt the disconnect.  There was the elephant in the room and we both knew it.

John asked me to go to Hawaii with him.  His best friend lived on Lanai and his son had died instantly in a car his father was driving...hit in Houston by a semi 10 minutes after picking up the car at the airport...a father-son trip ending in the worst tragedy imaginable.  Of course, I would go...John cannot handle emotional events.  He was going to support his friend; I was to be the rock.  And, coincidentally, there would be a bridge tournament while we were there...I kid you not.  What timing, huh?

He made all the arrangements, sending me a one line email..."Having you with me in paradise?  Priceless!"

My heart soared.

And, it WAS priceless...the entire trip...whale watching, snorkeling, outrigger canoeing, the dinner cruise, the memorial service, getting to know his wounded friend  We even won the tournament!  Heaven sent.

And then it was over.  And he disappeared.  No plans, no calls, cryptic emails.  He had dispensed with me and I had no idea why.

This was before I'd found my Diamond Self or Love in 90 Days or Susan or Why Men Love Bitches.

I sent him a Dear John letter and he replied he was thinking the same thing but would like to keep playing bridge together.  Seriously...this after the glorious 10 days in "paradise."

"Just love him?!"  I don't think so.

We agreed to meet at Lake Elkhorn for a walk.  I wanted to know the whole story and he finally came clean.