Life Is Good

Okay, I’ve got my political rant out of my system so will return to the personal one.  John wanted back in.  

We still played bridge and traveled together to tournaments.  While he was in love, we were in Tennessee on what seemed like a spiritual retreat.  We hiked and meditated in the national forest there.  One night, I held him as he had what I thought would be a true transformation....from operating out of fear to operating out of love.  I encouraged him to confront his greatest fear....of loving deeply again....walk through the door, I said.  Chi flowed through one to the other.  The connection was impossible to deny.

We both were profoundly moved.

He didn’t like that he spent Mother’s Day alone while my kids were cheering me on at the Poetry and Prose Reading.  He didn’t like being on the outs with my family.  He wanted to be back in the fold.  

I was dating other men, enjoying the attention but not investing a lot of energy or emotion into them.

Initially, I resisted his desire to be more important in my life....throwing it up to him that he was more than willing to dispense with me when he fell in love with someone else.  At first, there was denial...later, he agreed, saying that experience was an anomaly.

He wanted a commitment from me.  He had a love for me that would be there forever..a conjugal love, he termed it.  He saw us together.  He wanted us to start seeing each other more...a few times a week was his vision.  He was committed to our getting counseling when problems arose.

We wrote living wills together.  My God!  This is serious.  

We decide to meet with my kids to try to get him back in their good graces.  

We wrote guidelines for improving our communication....always a major stumbling block.

This is what Edith had hoped for, right?  And, hadn’t the medium told me there was marriage around me?  A spiritual marriage.  A meeting of souls...you knew him in a past life.  It all fit.

I lowered my resistance to a commitment.  He ended his relationship with the psychotherapist to make trust easier for me.  

Life is good.