I Meet Sammy

Good Grief!  Such interest in a first date!  LOL, but, of course, I have created the intrigue.  Great Expectations.  So much for living in the moment.  I have to laugh at the texts coming in asking how it is going.  I turn off the phone so as not to turn him off.

It's tapas and the film festival...rather artsy and avant garde...complete with the fabulous John Waters and the beautiful Austrian director, Patric Chiha, hosting Patric's extraordinary movie, Domaine.

We meet a Tapas Teatro for small plates and a glass of sangria for me; he doesn't drink.  Fine.  He's fit, rather tall, nice looking.  Light chatter, families and jobs.  I'm interested in what courses he teaches and what kind of clinical work he's involved in...remember, he's a psychology prof.  His field work is in an alternative school in Miami, working with kids and families.  Cool.  I think back to my urban teaching days and totally understand what he's up against.

Then, there's the class he teaches on the movements from the 60s..Vietnam War, Civil Rights Movement leading to the Women's Movement...and I realize I'm his student and I'm getting the lecture.  HELLO???!!  LIKE I WASN'T THERE??!!  I lived in the communes, did my share of drug recreation, grew organic before there was "organic," made the most delicious dill pickles ever!  I tie-dyed all of my baby's t-shirts, sewed peace symbols onto her overalls.

Okay, I'm chillin.'  Not being judgmental...I tell myself he's nervous and is just reciting what is familiar to him.  We enter The Charles Theatre and there is Mr. John Waters who looks amazingly healthy..sometimes, he looks a bit emaciated and waiting at death's door.  But, not tonight.  He introduces the director who is a gorgeous male specimen--very young, early 30s probably.  The film is French and slowly builds the relationship between a 40 year old female mathematician and her 17 year old nephew.  Not sexual but sensual; the balance of power changes dramatically as she drowns herself in booze and the nephew emerges from embryo to adult.

Sammy likes it and we return to Tapas to talk it over.  But, quickly, the talk becomes centered on past relationships and lives.  Oh, dear.  His first wife was his high school sweetheart, the mother of his two daughters, a 29 year marriage.  I ask how many wives he's had?  He replies, "7."  "Ohhh, just like Liz Taylor," I counter.  We laugh and he goes on to tell me his second marriage to a colleague lasted 10 years before it ended last year.

Then, it's my turn.  I tell him about my college love, the marriage lasting four years, the friendship forever.  I explain I was married to my second husband for 15 years until he passed.  "Oh?  What did he die of?"

I'm thinking...You Are Not Really Going There, Are You?  This is a first date, for God's sake!

"AIDS."
"Do you have it?"

WHAT???!!!  DO YOU THINK I WOULD BE SITTING HERE WITH YOU?

"Of course not." I reply calmly.

He is obviously in shock.  The evening's over.  We shake hands.