Life Dancer

Love in 90 Days?!  I know what you're thinking.  Is she nuts?  She's just throwing away her hard earned money.

And, you could be absolutely right.  But, I'm in a high risk mood these days.  And, I bite.  Then, I read the book.  Do you ever read self-help books?  For years, I pooh-poohed this genre.  I read a few and said to myself, I could've even written this.

Let me tell you, I could NOT have written Love in 90 Days.  Mainly, because I'm clueless in the love area.  I got a real education.  I learned the Deadly Dating Patterns, how to flirt, how to operate the online dating sites.  There are trained mentors all over the country to help you navigate your love life.  Even if you currently don't even have one.

There are deadly dating patters for women and men and some are harder to overcome than others.  It's definitely easier to have a significant relationship with the Shy Guy than the Commitmet Phobe and the Player.  I know you're thinking...DUH..but sometimes you don't know you're with the Commitment Phobe and/or Player until you're deep into it.  I definitely learned I ignore way too many warnings.

I have my second session with Susan and she asks me what my Love Intention is.
I respond, "To have a date."  She laughs and says, "And?"  So after much hemming and hawing, we agree on my Love Intention.
"I intent to embark on dating increasing to at least three men for three months ultimately settling on one who is committed to me and a future together."
Yep!  That's what I'd like.

"You're going to be keeping yourself as a free agent for at least three months., upgrading until you find the one.  You accept that he may be seeing other women, as well.  I don't recommend dating more than three men at a time so you'll be dropping some and adding others.  There is no sex until there is commitment, no commitment until you've been seeing him at least three months.  That is an order."

Yes, Ma'am!  But, I agree.  Women in general and me, in particular, get too hooked into the relationship once there is intimacy.

From there, we get into a discussion about where my Crumbs pattern comes from.  She asks about my relationship with my parents.  Talk about opening Pandora's Box!!  So, I tell her my mother was narcissistic, judgmental, verbally and physically abusive.  I never knew if I was coming home from school to the Milk and Cookies Mother or the Rage-filled Psycho!  When I was 11, she called me a 'slut' and I had no idea what the word even meant.  My father?  Completely passive.  He let her run/ruin all our lives and all he ever wanted was peace and love.

"Ohhh, so that why you pick passive men.  And, you didn't get enough nurturing nor did you mother or she wouldn't be the way she is.  If you had been nurtured, you wouldn't accept crumbs.  You sound pretty happy and healthy to have gone through that kind of a childhood.  I think your birth order helped you."  (('m the oldest of three.)

"We're going to work on helping you to be your Diamond Self, your most dynamic, caring passionate, self-loving identify."
"Amen to that."
"First, you have to have a name."
"I already have one...Life Dancer."
"I like that."
"What's yours?"
"I'm Rolling Thunder and Light."
"Cool.  Okay, Rolling Thunder and Light, what's my homework?"