You've probably figured out by now that it was a virus but that wasn't my first thought. Remember James Michael Collins? The Nigerian scammer/entrepreneur in Omaha? I'm a little jaded here. Ever heard of The Law Of Attraction espoused by Esther and Jerry Hicks? You attract whatever vibes you are sending out. So, am I sending out the Bring On the Scammers vibe?
Harley calls right away. Don't open it, I thought I had gotten rid of this virus. I'll run the computer scan again. He apologizes profusely and is adamant that he isn't married. Early, the next morning, I get the second email:
This is the greatest thing to ever happen to my family (insert http address) This has to be the best decision you have ever made in your financial career...blah, blah, blah. Oh, yeah, he got rid of it.
I tell Susan, my favorite Love Coach, that keeping up with the online dating stuff is taking over my life. It's like have a full-time job, which I am loathe to take on. She thinks it's wonderful that I'm doing it. I'm proud of you, you have a great attitude and you are going to check it all out and see what comes. I tell her I'm not good at doing the homework (yes, I know I was an educator but I hate homework; it reminds me of all the nights I spent grading papers). I'm not doing the Field Report on the Duds and Studs. I'm not spending much time reflecting. Laughing, she professes that reflection is overrated, action is more important. She tells me of a website that outs some of the guys who lie about who they are. She warns, if they don't have a picture, they're probably using aliases. But, I'm way ahead of her, I wouldn't think of corresponding with anyone without a picture.
It appears I've been through everyone in my region. I keep getting matches with men all along the East Coast from New York to North Carolina. Getting into a serious relationship with someone I can't see on a regular basis reminds me of Randy. The guy from Connecticut who lost his law practice and house right after we broke up and married someone in New Mexico two months later. I tell her I think I have a lack of radar. I'm not buying that, she says firmly, you sound like you have good radar. You have blinders on and you've been content with that. That goes back to your Crumbs dating pattern where you think there's something wrong with you that you're not demanding it all. Well, you're finished with that.
So, I tell her about Rob who is local. I started corresponding with him because of his politics...you know, Liberal. He's a health care policy advocate who is a devoted listener of Democracy Now, an independent award-winning news program hosted by Amy Goodman and Juan Gonzalez. But, the email exchanges are brief and political in nature. No real sharing of ideas or feelings. He just seems so deadly serious, I'm not picking up any humor vibes. Not particularly satisfying or encouraging to move forward.
Susan tells me to keep corresponding but in the near future, I should suggest that we talk on the phone. But, don't be direct. Look for the opportunity in something he writes. I'm trying to get you away from passivity, trying to get you with someone more normal, where there is a natural rhythm. Tell him you enjoy communication and let him know you'd allow the phone call exchange. A lot of guys are afraid of talking on the phone; let him now you're a talker, so he's not afraid of conversation.
I'm sure my readers probably know all these tips Susan's sharing with me. But, not me. I think she is absolutely brilliant!
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