Babe In Total Control of Herself

That would be a B-I-T-C-H a la Sherry Argov, comedian and radio host, author of Why Men Love Bitches:  From Doormat to Dreamgirl--A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship.  272 pages of hilarious and enlightening reading.

Stop.  I apologize for the word.  Personally, I abhor the word.  And, I was recently informed my blog was banned -- no access available from the public school system where I was formerly employed.   Bear in mind, I didn’t send it to the school system, only to carefully chosen friends.  But, alas, word travels when you’re controversial.  Now, I have their personal email addresses so no harm done.  

Advance apologies if this particular blog causes more banning!

Okay, back to Sherry and the Bitches.  She interviewed hundreds of men, and her book is nothing if not informative to the female.  To her credit, she re-defines the word.  This female is not abrasive.  She’s just who she is and likes herself.  She is strong AND kind.  She doesn’t go after men, she stays in control of her life.  Sherry contrasts her with the Nice Girl.  Needy, swept away with her romantic fantasy, loses her presence of mind.

Our society is so hell bent on youth and beauty and perfection.  According to Sherry, success in love isn’t about achieving this ideal or even about love, it’s more about attitude.  Don’t let others define you.  

She says, “A bit of irreverence is necessary to have self-esteem.  Not irreverence for people, but rather, for what other people think.”  The “bitch” is the woman who plays by her own rules, has a feeling of confidence, freedom and empowerment.  Basically, she has a devil may care attitude and an “edge.”  She’s a mental challenge.

Here’s a comparison she draws between the Doormat and the Dreamgirl.

DOORMAT DREAMGIRL

I am not enough. I’m enough, take it or leave it.

She is on call like a rookie She sees him when it’s convenient for 

flight attendant. her.

She talks about having babies. She can’t remember his last name.

She asks about his “ex.” He brings up the ex, she looks at her 

                                                                            watch.

I just never thought of myself as a Doormat.  Certainly, not a Bitch.  I’m redefining myself.  I guess I see parts of me that have been the Doormat.  But, I can be a mental challenge, too.  I’m learning.  I have a life.  I will not let others define me.  I am working to be that Babe In Total Control of Herself.

All these books for women have one common theme:  Give Yourself Positive Messages!  You are IT, Girl!   

Wonder what Susan thinks?