Something I've noticed is that on practically every man's profile is that he loves to exercise. Give me a break. Does anyone really LOVE to exercise? I hate it. I just do it because it makes me healthier and it's the only way I can lose weight. When I see that on a man's profile, this is what I think: Even If It Kills me, I'm Going to Lose the Weight Before I Meet You.
Susan chuckles at that and asks if there's anyone else on my radar. Well, yes, there's one more. Tell me about him.
His profile lists him as being from Falls Church, Virginia. He's a psychology professor, has a condo on Miami Beach and a cabin in the Shenandoah Forest. He's well traveled, enjoys the advantages of urban life but needs the serenity of the woods. Of course, one of his best life skills is keeping physically fit. He looks very slim in his profile picture so I think he may be the exception to the desperately trying to lose weight thing.
I started the exchange by telling him I had been an American History teacher and wish I was as well traveled as he is. Then, we share where we grew up and where our families are. When I wrote that I was a native Floridian, he tells me he's lived in Miami Beach since 1973. Really? But, doesn't your profile list you as being from Falls Church?
Susan isn't put off by that at all. If he was somewhere cold and desolate, I wouldn't be as excited. Well...I do love Florida beaches, I counter. What do you know about his personal history? Nothing really. I do know he has children and grandchildren in this area and he flies here several times a year. Okay, that's good, she says. I worry about the guy who doesn't have anything under his belt. In that case, let him get into therapy.
Would you think that by the time you turned 60, you would've had a relationship or two? I think the person would have to have a heart of stone. His feelings must be completely shut down. So, naturally, I'm not interested in anyone like that.
So, back to Sammy, not his real name but it works. He wants to know about what I do with my time now that I'm retired. He's on the verge of retiring and making some lifestyle changes and is curious about what I do. I tell him I play competitive bridge, golf, go to lectures, concerts, movies. Then, I tell him I write. He definitely perked up at that. Years before, he had tried his hand at writing fiction but he didn't think he was talented enough. Now, he primarily writes for scientific journals. What kind of writing do you do?
Oh, boy. You knew this was going to come up sometime. Sammy, I write a blog about dating in your 60s and you may find yourself smack in the middle of it. But, I'm way more subtle than that now so I tell him my son asked me to write my life story. All true. I tell him I do memoir writing.
I'm liking this one better and better, Susan quips. We'll keep him. I like that he has an advanced degree. The cabin in the woods suggests he's looking for serenity; he's asking about retirement. He could be ready for a lifestyle that is complementary to yours. But, I think at some point in the near future, you need to talk on the phone and get more personal. How do I do that? Well, after a few more exchanges, you might suggest it. He won't be put off. My God, he's a psychology professor, he'll have been through encounter groups. Just say something cute and candid. Asking about his children could start the personal exchange. It's okay to say you sound interesting, it might be fun to talk to you on the phone. Men in psychology are usually more sensitive and you like that. But, he must have the balls to be the one to suggest the time.
In the next email, he ups the ante: In two weeks, I'm coming up for a two week stay at the cabin. So I was wondering if you would be interested in seeing if it is possible to work out a time when we could meet to have coffee or for lunch?
YOU BETCHA! Wow, Susan's going to love this.
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