Goblins by Colette

I listened to Colette Baron-Reid's seminar on love relationships--spent three hours one night taking copious notes on Goblins.  Goblins are the shadows in ourselves, the wounded ego, what we've disowned in ourselves and don't want to recognize.

If we are needy, we pick people who are needy.  if we have Goblins, we can only have a relationship with another Goblin.  There are twelve Goblin Archetypes and the point is to know your Goblins(s) and put them to sleep!

Here's the Reader's Digest version:
1.  The Judge--constantly critical of others and looks for their flaws.
2.  The Controller--has to be the leader, can't hear other's ideas or fears.
3.  The Pleaser--will do whatever others want but ends up being resentful.
4.  The Rescuer--needs someone to be less than they are so they can fix them, making them feel better about themselves.
5.  The Victim--needs to be know as violated; fear of intimacy, abandonment.
6.  The Invader--will hurt you before you hurt them, terrified of abandonment.
7.  The Prostitute--uses sex to get what they want, gives up wisdom, disowns our natural process of aging.
8.  The Manipulator--never moves in a straight line, disrespectful, liar.
9.  The Debater--uses language to diminish another.
10.  The Gypsy--can't commit, fear of exposure; chooses someone who can't commit, because they are threatened by commitment.
11.  Drama Queen--pay attention to me, life is so hard.
12.  Addict--flourishes in yearning.

The bottom line is these Goblin relationships are all founded in fear, not love.

When I was listening to this, I was still hanging on to John aka Crumbs.  And, Colette was asked, 'How do you know if the relationship is dying or coming into something more profound?'
Her answer: 'If the relationship is becoming deeper, the growth must be reciprocal.  BUT, more important than the relationship is YOU.  How are You changing?'

And, that's when I decided I was DONE.  I surrender my Goblins.  I will not be a Rescuer or a Pleaser or a Gypsy and I will not be drawn to a Manipulator or Debater.  Send me someone who will be my true partner (with a sense of humor!).

I want to get to my soul.


Okay, I know this piece is not funny.  It's part of the journey.  I came across something I had written some time ago in one of my journals, a quote by Buddha:  "Life is nothing but change.  Go into it."

I like that...let's go!!