What Happened to Me?

I'm a woman of the 60s looking for a man in my 60s.  In my 60s????!!  Okay, I'm single, actually, a widow.  But that happened 15 years ago.

I had children to raise.  I had a ridiculously stressful job.  You try being the principal of a middle school!  Everybody gripes and complains. The teachers hate it when you try to counsel mischievous kids instead of taking their heads off.  What does suspension accomplish?  Oh year, the teachers get a short reprieve.

The kids, of course, think you're way too strict.
"It was just a little fire.  Really, I didn't mean to burn down the bathroom.  Why are you calling my parents?"
"Are you kidding me?" I respond incredulously.  Seriously, between the ages of 11 and 14, the brain stops dead in its tracks.  You can ask the obvious, 'Why did you do that?'  The usual response, 'I don't know.'  They are being completely honest.  They DON'T KNOW.  STUPID, STUPID QUESTION.

And, then there are the parents.  NOT MY KID.
"I know my child and she would never use any swear words."
"My child tells me everything.  If he was going to pot parties, he would tell me."
"My child is perfect.  It's the other kids that instigate.  Some other kid put that knife in his locker."
"Porno?  You're telling me my son sold a porno video to another child at school?  My son doesn't even use the computer at home."

I consciously made a decision not to pursue a love relationship because I was up to my eyeballs in my kids' soccer, basketball, lacrosse, homework, therapy sessions and my JOB that I couldn't spend quality time with someone else, not even myself.

I think I was dead WRONG.  It sounded sane, probably a good cop-out for not putting out the energy to kiss frogs until the prince came along.  No frogs, no prince, no sex....lots of sleepless nights, mainly, job related.  I was 45.  Maybe, it was just too late for me.  The marriage had been too good, possibly.  Best friends, no holds-barred, shared great joy and, obviously, profound sorrow.

Okay.  I did try a few things.  Match.com, eHarmony.  I just didn't know how to download a picture so that didn't get me too many hits.  Tried It's Just Lunch...all frogs in my age group.  8-Minute Dating.  One of the most bizarre experiences of my life.  I did it with my friend, Annie.  We didn't walk out with one guy's phone number and they didn't walk out with ours.  "Would you try it again? she asked.  "Sure."  We never did.

But, here's the thing.  I made the assumption they were all frogs.  A totally negative assumption.  Why would be they be looking online if they were all that?  Someone would've snapped them right up.

Hey!  I'm insulted.  I'm a frog????  Why hasn't someone snatched me up?  I know I'm 60, but I'm a hot 60.  I have great energy, workout everyday, laugh at the world and myself and I'm not bad looking!  What is the frigging problem?

Me.  I'm the biggest stumbling to my own success at this.  Have you been online lately?  There are lots of great looking guys in my age range.  Some of them are even interested in developing their spiritual side.  Maybe the Law of Attraction could be working for me.

We're going on this journey together.  Hang on.