eHarmony

Staying optimistic, I return to search the online sites.  Once, several years ago, I had completed the 5000 questions eHarmony requires to match you to your exact match.  I went on a few weeks ago just to see if there was anything out there.  They were relentless, like a bull dog, sending me five emails a day, each with seven or eight new matches.  Okay, I'm curious.  I click on one, it asks for my long in info and gives me my three options for sign up:  3 months, 6 months, a year.  I sign off.  Again, they're back with the new matches.  This goes on for days.  Wow, there seem to be a lot of guys out there.  Same with Match.com, SeniorMeetPeople, MatureSingles.

But eHarmony dogs me and I bite.  I take the 6 month option.  Two hundred bucks straight out of my checking account.  I start looking.  Good Lord, this is a full-time job.  74 matches.  120 archived from my previous account.  

One Sunday night, I spent FIVE HOURS archiving 100 matches.  It's not easy to close a match.  Literally, you have to look at the profile four times before you can close it.  You read the profile, scroll down, hit ARCHIVE THIS MATCH.  Up pops ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO ARCHIVE THIS MATCH?  Damn right, I'm sure.  Then, you go to the heading Archived Matches, his name and the profile pops up again.  Scroll down, finally hit CLOSE MATCH.  Whaddya think pops up?  You guessed it, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO CLOSE THIS MATCH?  YES, I DO!!!!

I look at my old profile.  Great picture but I don't look much like that anymore.  My blond highlights have been replaced by my natural salt and pepper hair--longer and curlier.  Can't wear contacts anymore,  eyes are too dry.  But, I'm skinnier!  That's a plus.

I add more pictures but I really want one with me in my new blue Solara convertible.  I want to convey the new, sexier, out-of-the-box me.  Later.  Instead, I add more humor to my profile.

I start looking.  I respond only to ones with pictures and only to the guys I am not repulsed by physically.  I know I'm shallow that way.  Some are not even local but I'm keeping an open mind.  I want to be positive, he's out there somewhere.

Pretty much they're all looking for the same thing...sex.  Of course, they're not going to write that!  Instead, they write that they're looking for a caring and sensitive person, someone with a sense of humor, a communicator, someone who likes to cuddle and hold hands on a walk.  All code for S-E-X.  Either that or they're impotent.  A girl has to consider that at my age.

I look at dozens of guys, send flirts, smiles, emails commenting on their book choice or some tidbit of info they've thrown into their profile.  Then, I wait.